"The entrance of thy words giveth light (Psalm 119:130)."
Don't Take Things Personally
Adopt a positive attitude toward yourself. And, don't take things personally; that is, don't internalize the negativity of others.
Consider the following Scriptures.
"Love your neighbor as yourself." {Mark 12:31 NIV}
". . . He made us accepted in the Beloved." {Ephesians 1:6 NKJV}
"Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you . . ." {Isaiah 43:4 NIV}
"Also do not take to heart everything people say,
Lest you hear your servant cursing you.
For many times, also, your own heart has known
That even you have cursed others." {Ecclesiastes 7.21-22 NKJV}
Choosing to love yourself makes you stronger; you are not as easily impacted by the comments others make.
Choosing to love yourself makes it easier to forgive both yourself and other people.
It is difficult or impossible to forgive if you internalize the negativity of others; that is, if you accept their negative assessment of your character or worth.
This can be a particular problem for those who received global negative parental messages growing up. Examples: 1) "You ought to be ashamed of yourself!" 2) "Boy are you stupid!"
It is essential that you counter the negative assessments of your actions and character by others so that you can forgive.
This is what it means to not take things personally.
But how?
Keep reading.
Remembering God's opinion of you can help you to overcome the negativity of others.
Your own opinion of yourself, and your own perspective, is of the utmost practical importance. These can enable you to triumph over the negativity of others. You can choose to love and accept yourself or you can allow the wickedness of others to prevail. This is a choice.
Furthermore, it is necessary to disbelieve, from your heart, the negative global assessments of your character by others, even if they have some basis in your past life.
Some examples:
- A former prostitute cannot think of herself as 'a whore.' She is not.
- A former sex offender cannot think of himself as 'a pervert.'
- A former inmate cannot continue to think of himself as 'a criminal.'
- A man with a history of failure cannot think of himself as 'a loser.'
- Someone who has been sexually abused cannot think of themselves as 'damaged goods' or as being 'worthless.'
- A person who makes a mistake cannot think of himself as being 'stupid.'
- Otherwise, when someone's criticism touches on a sensitive area, it will be very difficult or impossible for you to forgive the person.
It is necessary for you to forgive yourself as well as other people.
It is necessary to counter negative thoughts, especially self-critical thoughts. You have to correct these thoughts.
It is also important to comfort yourself. Fear gives power to the devil.
One final thought: Give people the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes, what others say can be interpreted several ways. Assuming the best makes it much easier to forgive.
Affirmations are recommended.
God's perspective:
- God loves me.{Isaiah 43:4}
- God accepts me. {Ephesians 1:6}
Personal perspective:
- I love me. {Mark 12:31}
- I accept myself. {Mark 12:31}
- I forgive myself. {Mark 12:31}
- I don't care what he (she) thinks. {Ecclesiastes 7.21-22}
Counter negative and self-critical thoughts:
- I am not (fill in blank).
- Say the opposite.
- I am a child of God. {1 John 3:1}
Comforting yourself:
- I don't expect myself to be perfect.
- I can handle this.
- It's OK.
- "It's OK if he's (she's) angry at me.
Practice using affirmations and always correct negative thoughts.
This will strengthen your ability to forgive both yourself and other people. It will result in a lot more peace.
Doug Britton MFT wrote: "There's no need to take it personally even if it was meant to be taken personally."
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