"The entrance of thy words giveth light (Psalm 119:130)."
Getting Rid of Anger (Part 3)
"You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.' But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, 'Raca,' is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, 'You fool!' will be in danger of the fire of hell."
"Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift."
"Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still together on the way, or your adversary may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. Truly I tell you, you will not get out until you have paid the last penny."
{Matthew 5:21-26 NIV}
I once counseled a family where there was a lot of ongoing tension between the father and his teenage daughter. The teenage daughter had, in the past, run away and the father was still seething mad. He couldn't break free of his anger.
I was seeing the family as a secular counselor employed by a social service agency. I could not use the Bible. But the biblical principle of being reconciled came to mind.
I talked to the 16-year-old girl, individually, and explained that her father was still very angry about her running away. I suggested that she apologize to her father and she agreed to do so.
Her decision to apologize had an immediate positive impact on her relationship with her father. It was an emotional scene with the father saying "That's all you ever had to do!" The relationship was restored. The last thing I remember was the girl smiling while riding away with her father in a pickup truck.
When dealing with family situations, 'forgive and forget' doesn't generally work. There is a need to be reconciled, to make peace with the person who is angry at you.
Just do the best that you can. Your peace doesn't depend on someone else's reaction; only on your obedience.
The need to reconcile is not limited to family situations. It has general application. Pray and seek out wise counsel if you're not sure how to handle a situation.
"Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift." {Matthew 5:23-24 NIV}
Take care of the situation as soon as possible.
A link to Part 4 is below.
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