"The entrance of thy words giveth light (Psalm 119:130)."
How to Select a Counselor/Therapist
Counseling can be helpful or damaging. This article provides some guidelines.
First: Define your objective. If you're going to counseling, you're looking for one or more of the following:
- Useful information.
- Emotional healing.
- Both.
If you just need to talk, to express your feelings about a loss or traumatic event, any counselor, who is willing to listen, may suffice.
Expressing your feelings helps to discharge difficult emotions and bring clarity to your issues. This, in turn, makes it easier to decide on a course of action.
If more is needed, the counselor should be a Christian and be providing your counseling from a biblical perspective. Ask the person about his approach to counseling. If you don't hear a lot about the Bible, you've got the wrong person.
Second: The counselor should have been referred to you by a source you trust, like a ministry, pastor, deacon, family member or friend.
Third: The ideal counselor should have successful personal experience, using the Bible, without drugs, for an issue similar to what you are experiencing.
No one, for example, can better help a drug addict than someone who, himself, has overcome an addiction and now has years of sobriety.
If such a person is not available, they should at least have successful experience counseling those with similar issues, without relying on psychotropic drugs.
It's a good idea to interview the counselor first. You can ask questions and get a good initial impression as to whether the counselor would be a good fit.
Fourth: Use your intuition and intelligence. If either facility says this is the wrong person, find someone else.
Fifth: There are both advantages and disadvantages of opting for a licensed therapist.
Advantages:
The person has a wide range of knowledge and experience.
Licensed therapists have been through a more thorough screening process that always includes a criminal background check.
Disadvantages:
Licensed therapists usually must refer you to a doctor for psychotropic drugs. And they can never tell you, in therapy, not to follow your doctor's advice. It is impossible to make much progress while using the drugs.
A rule of thumb: Bible + Medication = Failure.
To protect your therapist's license, and his fear of being sued, you should tell him, at the onset of therapy, that you do not want such a referral. He can then document this in his notes.
Many Christian therapists do much the same thing as secular therapists. Often, they combine Scripture with a psychological theory.
Anything that distracts you from the Bible, for very long, will be detrimental to your making progress. This includes psychology homework assignments. Combining a psychological theory, with the Bible, greatly diminishes the efficacy of Scripture.
"For Christ did not send me to baptize but to preach the gospel, and not with words of eloquent wisdom, lest the cross of Christ be emptied of its power." {1 Corinthians 1:17 ESV}
". . . your faith should not be in the wisdom of men but in the power of God." {1 Corinthians 2:5 NKJV}
Another rule of thumb: Bible + Psychology = Failure.
Notes:
- Licensed therapists will have to say something in regard to a psychological theory since using the Bible, alone, is legally questionable.
- There are some elements of truth in psychological theories. Examples: 1) Correcting negative self-talk (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy). 2) Not allowing yourself to be used as a go-between (Family Systems Theory).
- These are, however, simply common sense.
Sixth: additional guidance follows.
Once he gets to know you, a good counselor should also be able to provide useful advice and explain how he plans to resolve your issues. He should know Scripture well and be able apply his knowledge to your case.
A good counselor should do a lot more listening than talking. It's important for you to express your feelings and, in this way, discharge troublesome emotions and bring clarity to your issues.
"Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." {Galatians 6:2 NKJV}
Your therapist should not, however, encourage you to share every thought that comes in to your mind. This can cause long-term damage to your mental health. Should this occur, find someone else.
You therapist should not encourage you to think of yourself as a victim. This is a red flag that should never be ignored. Get someone else.
Seventh: Reporting requirements: There are various laws that may require authorities to be notified in cases where the person counseling you is a pastor or licensed therapist.
Nonprofessionals do not, to the best of my knowledge, have reporting requirements.
Reporting requirements can come in to play in regard to abuse and neglect issues or if you have willfully viewed child pornography.
Some cautions: Spanking may be viewed as child abuse. Refusing to give a child prescribed psychotropic drugs may be viewed as child neglect, and is another area of concern.
You can ask the counselor, in advance, about his reporting requirements. You can research such issues online, as they apply to your jurisdiction. You can also consult with an attorney.
Be aware of such issues and avoid unnecessary problems.
If authorities are notified about such an issue, seek out legal counsel right away. Many local bar associations offer a free initial consultation. And this is often all that is needed.
Eighth: Group counseling is highly recommended—especially when this is done with those with similar concerns. Many churches have groups for various issues. Examples include sexual abuse, sexual addiction, domestic violence, drug abuse, pre-marriage, marriage enrichment etc. You can learn a lot from other people.
Some cautions: 1) Make sure you are comfortable with the leader of the group. 2) If you do go to a secular group, be very cautious about any advice that is given.
Ninth: For individual counseling, consider talking to a pastor, deacon, church elder or simply a more experienced Christian.
You can also ask another Christian to disciple you.
"My brothers and sisters, I am sure that you are full of goodness. You are filled with knowledge and able to teach one another." {Romans 15:14 NIRV}
Christians should counsel one another.
This is how these things have been traditionally handled in the Christian church.
Finally, a synopsis:
- The counselor should provide you with a safe space to talk about your issues.
- You should feel comfortable with the person who is counseling you, or leading your group.
- The advice you receive should be consistent with the Bible.
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