"The entrance of thy words giveth light (Psalm 119:130)."
How to Counsel Others
"My brothers and sisters, I am sure that you are full of goodness. You are filled with knowledge and able to teach one another." {Romans 15:14 NIRV}
Christians should counsel one another.
Most of the time, licensed professional counselors do more harm than good.
Here's some basic points to help you help others.
First: "Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." {Galatians 6:2 NKJV}
You bear another's burden by listening and letting them express their feelings. Your role is to keep them talking, so that they can become emotionally unburdened.
You do this by reflecting back on what has been said. Again, keep the person talking. Occasionally, you can ask a question to clarify things.
Allowing the person to talk actually accomplishes two things: 1) The person becomes emotionally unburdened. 2) As this happens, this usually also provides the person with needed clarity as to how to deal with the challenge at hand.
Continue listening, and reflecting back, until you sense that the person's peace has returned. Give them as much time as necessary.
Listening is very important. It's the single most important thing you can do to help others.
Don't provide any advice until the person has become emotionally unburdened.
Second: "Listen to counsel and receive instruction, That you may be wise in your latter days. {Proverbs 19:20 NKJV}
If advice is needed, provide it. Advice given should be based on the following:
- Bible.
- Common sense.
- Technical expertise (if indicated.)
" . . . blessed are those who hear the word of God and follow it." {Luke 11:28 NASB}
Third: "Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed." {Proverbs 15:22 NIV}
Seek out wise counsel in regard to the problems you encounter when counseling others. This will make your counseling efforts more successful.
Especially, seek out individuals with relevant successful personal experience.
Of course, maintain needed confidentiality.
Fourth: Do no harm. Even if you can't help, you can always accomplish this—if you try.
In particular:
- Never pressure someone to talk about something they are unwilling or not ready to talk about.
- Remember, you are Christ's servant. Do not think of yourself as an all-knowing therapist.
Fifths: For mental health and substance abuse issues, start with the basics. I refer you to my article entitled A Quick Start Guide.
Finally: In regard to specific issues, I recommend the following:
- This website.
- Ministry Resources.
- Deliverance Ministries.
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