"The entrance of thy words giveth light (Psalm 119:130)."
Stress Management
This article will focus on general stress management. A separate article has been written on the subject of anxiety. It is suggested that you read this article first.
This article focuses on general stress management. Issues in regard to spiritual warfare are discussed in other articles.
All of us have a subconscious mind that is working 24 hours a day. This is both a good thing and a bad thing.
It's definitely a good thing for students. Students find that if they start writing a paper the night before, it becomes much easier to complete the paper the next day. This is because, while they were sleeping, their subconscious mind continued to work. It made progress in terms of what the paper should include, how it should be organized etc.
The same thing is true with life in general. Your subconscious mind continually reviews your life events, especially those associated with strong emotions. It tries to resolve problems. And it focuses on the things you think most about during your waking hours. Both conscious and subconscious thoughts result in corresponding emotions.
You may think, for example, that work stress is only a problem at work. But really, it affects you much more since those unpleasant experiences are being reviewed consciously and unconsciously long after you've left work.
The more you think about problems consciously, the greater their emotional impact will be.
Dealing with anger is discussed in the article entitled Anger Management.
You will not be able to create a perfect world for yourself to live in. But here are some practical tips for reducing stress.
First: Start with the basics:
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and pleading with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."
"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, think about these things."
"As for the things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you."
{Philippians 4:6-9 NASB}
General guidelines:
- Pray about your problems.
- Use Scripture.
- Trust and obey.
- Think about good things.
We all have problems. Limit the amount of time you think about them to that which is reasonable and constructive.
Dwelling on problems leads to unnecessary stress and can cause anxiety either directly or through the creation or exacerbation of spiritual footholds.
Second: Spend at least 10 minutes, every day, thinking about the good things in your life, what you can be thankful for. This will help you to develop the habit of thinking positive.
Third: Use affirmations to avoid negative thinking.
Some examples:
- Don't think about people you don't like.
- No (thinking about) problems in bed.
- No (thinking about) crime.
Daily affirmations are highly recommended, especially as part of a morning routine.
To the extent that this doesn't work, then the issue is spiritual warfare.
Fourth, make and work toward goals that excite you. Look for ways to make your life more enjoyable and less stressful. For example, if you don't like the work you have to do, you might set a goal of saving money and living inexpensively so you can retire early. There's a wealth of information on this topic on the Internet.
Fifth, manage your money wisely. Most people don't know how to manage their money wisely. I have a friend who made a made a lot of money, during her lifetime, but now it's all gone. She even has a mountain of debt from student loans.
Have a savings account and make sensible investments. Don't waste money. Look for ways to spend less. Don't buy things until you have the money to pay for them. It is foolish to accumulate debt and the stress that goes along with it. The Bible states: "The rich rules over the poor, And the borrower becomes the lender's slave (Proverbs 22:7 NASB)."
One usual exception to the "no borrowing" rule has to do with housing. Home loans are often a good idea, as long as you maintain the ability to sell the home—and get your money back—if necessary.
To become competent in managing your money wisely, do your homework. For example, you can do Internet searches on "How to save money on groceries," "How to save money on housing" or even, simply, "How to save money." You can also seek out advice from others.
Consumer Reports provides independent product reviews on products, insurance companies, health insurance—just about everything. Consumerreports.org is available online. And Amazon provides customer reviews on the products they offer for sale. It's important to get good value for your money.
You should also do your homework before investing. For example, you can do an internet search on "How to invest in mutual funds" or "How to invest in Exchange Traded Funds." Hint: You're looking for no sales commissions, very low fees, very large, well-known companies and index funds or index ETFs.
Beware advertisements and sponsored results: There's no shortage of people out there who'd love to separate you from your money. And stay away from get-rich-quick schemes. They only lead to poverty.
"A faithful man will abound with blessings, But he who makes haste to be rich will not go unpunished (Proverbs 28:20 NASB)."
Some scam artists and those selling expensive, undesirable investment products do target churches and do advertise on Christian radio. Stay away!
However: "If riches increase, do not set your heart upon them (Psalm 62:10 NASB)."
Trust ONLY in God. You will do just fine if you recognize that Jesus is all you need—and fully trust ONLY in Him.
God is the only one who can protect you from all threats.
Be thankful for money and other blessings God has given you, but don't allow them to captivate your heart. Otherwise, you're guilty of the sin of idolatry and God will punish you. Sooner or later.
"You shall have no other gods before Me." {Exodus 20:3 NASB}
"Those who trust in their riches will fall, but the righteous will thrive like a green leaf." {Proverbs 11:28 NIV}
Besides, trusting in things that can't really protect you causes unnecessary stress directly—your idol(s) will fail.
If this is an area of weakness for you, getting involved in a ministry will help:
"Commit your works to the Lord, And your thoughts will be established (Proverbs 16:3 NKJV)."
Don't have sex out of wedlock and, as a general rule, avoid divorce. These can be disastrous for your finances.
Don't neglect to tithe your income to your church. Give one-tenth of your income to your church. You should, on top of this, also have an 'offering' in which you give something of value to a Christian ministry or people in need.
Not tithing your income is stealing from God (Malachi 3:8-12). And results in a curse on your life. This is no way to manage your money—or Christian life—intelligently. Tithing, by contrast, results in a blessing on your life, as you are being obedient.
Of course, if your partner is unwilling, this may not be possible. I think God expects us to do the best we can—nothing more.
“Where there is no counsel, the people fall; But in the multitude of counselors there is safety (Proverbs 11:14 NKJV).” Pray and seek out wise counsel when making financial decisions. Don't talk to anyone about finances that approaches you—only people that you select. Don't rely on any one source of information. Don't allow any person—except, if necessary, a trusted family member—to have control over your money. And be wary of anyone who might have a conflict of interest.
Even a great investment idea will result in disaster if the person in charge steals your money.
Finally, if you do lose your money or don't have any, remember: "For we walk by faith, not by sight." {2 Corinthians 5:7 NKJV} God will still deliver you if you continue to read your Bible, continue to pray and hold firmly to your faith.
I know this is true having worked in a jail ministry.
Sixth: Look for ways to get control of your time—one of your most important assets. Your life will be more enjoyable—and less stressful—if you don't have to spend your life doing things you don't want to do. You really don't need expensive housing, vacations, cars, clothes etc. And you can cook at home and bring your lunch to work—I usually did.
Seventh, find time to enjoy nature. A walk in the park, for example, is a great way to lift your spirits and reduce stress.
Eighth, keep your home and vehicle(s) in good repair. Perform preventative maintenance; don't wait for problems to develop.
A couple of tips follow.
For your home: An automatic water shutoff, like Flo by Moen, can prevent a whole lot of problems that would otherwise occur if there's a water leak while you're away.
Repair shops and dealerships often push expensive, unneeded repairs. Three suggestions: 1) Refer to your vehicle's owner's manual. 2) Get a second opinion if you have doubts. 3) Deal only with businesses with a solid reputation.
Ninth, a tip in regard to marital conflicts:
“Cast your burden upon the LORD and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken (Psalm 55:22 NASB).”
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths (Proverbs 3:5-8 NKJV).”
Turn the issue over to God. Wait until He makes it clear what to do. Then, do whatever He says. This approach is very effective when couples disagree.
Tenth, avoid sin. If, for example, you're a man looking at pornography, your wife will eventually find out. And she is not going to be happy! The same thing is true if you commit adultery, waste money on gambling etc. God's rules are there for a purpose.
" . . . and be sure your sin will find you out." {Numbers 32:23 NKJV}
Eleventh, if you feel the need, talk to someone. This can be a friend, relative, pastor or counselor. It can also be at a support group at church.
"Bear one another's burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ (Galatians 6:2 NASB)."
Talking to others helps in three ways:
- Talking to others can release pent up emotions.
- It makes it possible to see things more clearly.
- You may also get needed advice.
More information is available in the article entitled How to Select a Counselor/Therapist.
Twelfth, get organized. All your paperwork, tools etc. should be organized so you can quickly locate whatever you need. Avoid clutter. You should have a things-to-do list which you update daily. You should have a shopping list which is always up to date. And all your appointments should be on a calendar.
If necessary, you can do an Internet search on "how to get organized."
Thirteenth: Walk wisely.
"He who trusts in his own heart is a fool, But whoever walks wisely will be delivered." {Proverbs 28:26 NKJV}
Take care of your health:
- Get vaccinated.
- Get plenty of sleep
- Exercise daily.
- Eat a healthy diet.
- Get medical attention when needed.
- Stay away from quack remedies.
Be careful to avoid injuries:
"Be anxious for nothing . . ." {Philippians 4:6 NASB}
"Trust in Him at all times . . ." {Psalm 62:8 NASB}
These will help you to avoid injuries and avoid making other foolish mistakes.
Fear is dangerous. Much more dangerous than any possible circumstance. Don't give in to fear—ever.
You are not safe whenever you give in to fear.
Fourteenth: Take time to do the things you enjoy. The happier you are, the less stress you will have. And the healthier you will be.
"A merry heart does good, like medicine, But a broken spirit dries the bones (Proverbs 17:22 NKJV)."
Fifteenth, don't overlook the power of music. Relaxing and/or inspirational music should always be readily available both at home and while you're driving. Christian music is recommended.
Also, God will bless you if you if you worship Him.
Sixteenth, stop doing things you're lousy at. Avoid doing things that make you miserable. As a general rule, stay in your comfort zone.
Select your occupation wisely. Remember, your subconscious mind is constantly reviewing your life events.
Select an occupation where you can feel reasonably comfortable. Preferably something that you actually want to do. Save money so you will have more options in the future.
Seventeenth: How you talk to yourself drastically affects your mood.
You can't be victorious in spiritual warfare if you are at war with yourself.
Monitor your self-talk.
Your self-talk should be positive, comforting and constructive—and consistent with the Bible.
Affirmations are recommended:
A healthy, personal perspective:
- God loves me.
- I love me.
- I accept myself.
- I don't care what he (she) thinks.
- I don't expect myself to be perfect.
- I forgive myself.
Correct self-critical and other negative thoughts:
- I am not (fill in blank).
- Or, say the opposite.
Comforting yourself:
- It's no big deal.
- It's OK.
- It's OK if he's angry at me.
Practice using affirmations and always correct negative thoughts.
Talk to yourself like you'd like a good friend to counsel you. Or how you would encourage a child you love.
Eighteenth: Practice "shrug therapy." When something goes wrong, practice not getting upset about it.
Nineteenth: A simple general rule that will make life easier when you have a lot of things that have to get done: do the easiest thing first.
Twentieth: Another rule to remember to reduce stress: Whenever something feels compelling and uncomfortable, it is usually unnecessary and ill-advised.
Twenty-first: Sometimes, to reduce your stress, you really need to think about something other than your life here on earth. Two suggestions: 1) Watch a movie. 2) Read a good book.
An example of a movie I enjoy is Help by The Beatles.
Avoid sinful sexual content, nudity and bad language.
Finally, keep the Sabbath: "There are six days when you may work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath of rest, a day of sacred assembly. You are not to do any work; wherever you live, it is a Sabbath to the LORD (Leviticus 23:3 NIV)."
Old Testament laws do not apply strictly to us today; we are under a new covenant. However, taking one day out of seven to rest and focus on the things of God is a biblical concept that does apply today (Mark 2:27). And it will reduce your stress.
Note: It is recommended that you also read the article on Anxiety.
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