"The entrance of thy words giveth light (Psalm 119:130)."
Forgiveness Tips
God will allow demons to torture us unless we forgive those who have wronged us.1 The usual result of unforgiveness is anxiety and/or depression. Other mental health and physical health issues are also caused by, or are made worse by, unforgiveness.
Here's some quick tips so you won't be defeated.
First: It is necessary to forgive others from your heart (Matthew 18:21-35). Nothing less will do.
This is a decision you must make each time these disturbing thoughts come to mind.
Affirmation: "I choose to forgive him (her)."
Second: Trust in the power of the Holy Spirit to enable you to forgive. Sometimes, you can't forgive in your own strength.
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." {Philippians 4:13 NKJV}
Third: "Pray for those who hurt you." {Matthew 5:44 NIRV}
Get into the habit of praying, briefly, for those you're struggling to forgive, when these disturbing thoughts come to mind. This is a very effective way of countering unforgiveness.
Sometimes, it is impossible to completely break free of an unforgiveness foothold unless you routinely pray for the person when these disturbing thoughts come to mind.
Pray for what God would want for the person.
Praying for your enemies makes it easier to forgive. Think of this as a moral obligation to keep your heart right with God.
Fourth: Don't take things personally. And adopt a positive, biblical, forgiving, attitude toward yourself. Otherwise, it will be very difficult, or impossible, for you to forgive other people.
Affirmations:
- God loves me.
- I love me.
- I don't care what he (she) thinks.
- I don't expect myself to be perfect.
- I forgive myself.
Along the same lines as the above: If someone makes it clear that they believe something negative about your character or worth, it will be very difficult, or impossible, for you to forgive them unless you choose to, from your heart, disbelieve their perspective. This is something you can do.
Your own perspective, and your attitude toward yourself, is what's most important. And these are a choice.
Fifth: Remembering that you have been forgiven will help you to forgive others.
"Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others." {Colossians 3:13 NLT}
Affirmation: God has forgiven me; I forgive him (her).
Sixth: Give people the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes what others say can be interpreted several ways. Assuming the best makes it much easier to forgive.
Seventh: Related sins to avoid:
- Don't negatively judge the worth of other people. {Luke 6:37}
- Do not talk negatively about others. {James 4:11-12, 5:9}
- Don't try to get even. {Romans 12:17-19}
- Don't take pleasure in another person’s calamity, real or imagined—no matter how well-deserved. {Proverbs 17:5}
These are all sins. They are inconsistent with forgiveness.
Eighth: "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." {1 John 1:9 NIV}
Whenever you find yourself entertaining revenge or negative judgemental thoughts about the worth of another person, confess these sins to God.
This is simple to do: "Lord, I ask forgiveness of my sin."
Confessions need to be sincere. And sincerity includes making an effort not to repeat the sin.
By confessing your sin to God, right away, you can usually avoid the emotional distress that would otherwise come your way as a result of your sin.
Ninth: Don't dwell on past wrongs.
Demons, of course, will try to get you to think about negatives.
Suggestions follow.
First: recite Scripture.
Examples:
- "Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." {John 14:27 NIV}
- Be anxious for nothing . . ." {Philippians 4:6 NASB}
- ". . . whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right . . . think about these things." {Philippians 4:8 NASB}
"For the word of God is alive and active." {Hebrews 4:12 NIV}
Second: use affirmations and reminders based on Scripture. Two examples, based on the above Scriptures, follow.
I choose to 'be anxious for nothing.' {Philippians 4:6}
Don't think about people you don't like. {Philippians 4:8}
Third: Demons are identified by their function (Mark 9:24). In addition to other prayers, you can pray against the spirit of offense, attacking you.
Example: "I pray against the spirit of offense, in Jesus' name. Thank you Lord."
Then, think about something else.
Dwelling on past wrongs will always be emotionally damaging, sooner or later, even if the thoughts occur in the context of forgiveness.
Tenth: "Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity." {Ephesians 4:26-27 NASB}
Try to forgive the person before you go to sleep. It's much easier to forgive this way.
Eleventh: Remember God's justice.
"'Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,' says the Lord." {Romans 12:19 NASB}
Affirmation: God will get him (her) back.
Twelfth: Remember: maintaining an attitude of forgiveness is your continuing responsibility. Using the Lord's Prayer, every morning, is highly recommended when forgiveness issues are salient.
Finally: More information is available on this website. The following articles are especially recommended:
- How to Forgive.
- Don't Take Things Personally.
- Stopping Spiritual Attacks.
- Getting Rid of Anger.
- Anger Management.
1) This does not always apply to unbelievers.
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