"The entrance of thy words giveth light (Psalm 119:130)."
Dealing With Guilt
"You shall love your neighbor as yourself." {Matthew 22:39 NASB}
"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." {1 John 1:9 NASB}
"Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." {Romans 8:1 NASB}
"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past." {Isaiah 43:18 NIV}
"Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." {Galatians 6:2 NKJV}
Guilt is a common mental health concern. The Bible provides guidance on this issue.
In order to benefit from this article, it is necessary to first get saved.
Start with the basics.
First, admit it. Admit to yourself and to God that you have sinned. If you've done something wrong—we all do at times—admit it to God and to yourself. This is the necessary first step.
Second, confess it. Confess your sins to God. Make it clear to God that you are sorry for your sin and will make a genuine effort not to repeat the sin in the future. Once you've done this, once, God has forgiven you. And there is no need to repeat this process.
"He who covers his sins will not prosper, But whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy." {Proverbs 28:13 NKJV}
"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." {1 John 1:9 NASB}
Third: Forgive yourself. This is also necessary to break free.
Very simple: "I forgive myself." Say this to yourself when you come under attack in regard to past wrongs. If this is not sufficient, additional guidance is provided later in the article.
Fourth: Forget it. Thinking about past wrongs, or any other negatives, is not conducive to good mental health.
"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past." {Isaiah 43:18 NIV}
Two things that will help are using prayer and reciting Scripture.
In regard to prayer:
- Pray, repeatedly, throughout your day. {1 Thessalonians 5:17}
- Especially, pray when you come under spiritual attacks. {James 5:13} Continue in prayer until the spiritual attack ends.
- Pray in tongues. This can make your prayers more effective.
Examples of Scriptures to recite:
"Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." {John 14:27 NIV}
". . . whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right . . . think about these things." {Philippians 4:8 NASB}
More information is available in the series entitled Stopping Spiritual Attacks. Another link is provided at the end of the article.
Fifth: Your self-talk and your attitude toward yourself are very important—and these are a choice.
"You shall love your neighbor as yourself." {Matthew 22:39 NASB}
Use affirmations and correct negative thoughts.
Recommended affirmations:
- God loves me.
- I love me.
- I accept myself.
- I forgive myself.
- I don't care what he (she) thinks.
Correcting negative thoughts:
- I am not (fill in blank).
- Or, say the opposite.
Sixth: Sometimes, when an issue comes up, there is a question as to whether or not it is appropriate to take some action or simply stop thinking about it.
Scriptures follow.
"Cast your burden upon the Lord and He will sustain you;
He will never allow the righteous to be shaken." {Psalm 55:22 NASB}
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths. {Proverbs 3:5-8 NKJV}
"For from days of old they have not heard or perceived by ear,
Nor has the eye seen a God besides You,
Who acts in behalf of the one who waits for Him.
You meet him who rejoices in doing righteousness,
Who remembers You in Your ways (Isaiah 64:4-5 NASB)."
Bring the issue to God and listen. God's voice always comes in the context of relative peace—and is never condemning.
If you don't hear anything, there is nothing to be done—at least not at this time. It's a spiritual attack; stop thinking about it.
An important thing to remember that will help you to not dwell on negatives is that you've put the issue in God's hands—and you will do whatever God says to do or not do—whenever He makes this clear.
God may tell you to do something different at the last moment.
So, since you're waiting for God's decision, it's pointless to keep trying to figure things out for yourself.
More information is available in the series entitled How to Cast a Burden. Another link is provided at the end of the article.
Seventh: Seek support, if needed.
"Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed." {James 5:16 NASB}
"Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." {Galatians 6:2 NKJV}
Sometimes it is beneficial to find someone you can talk to about the issue. This should be someone with a compassionate heart, reasonably good judgement and someone who you are confident will maintain your confidentiality.
This should be be considered if you can't break free by yourself.
Talking about such issues can be of lasting benefit. The person you talk to should listen to you express your feelings. And not offer a lot of advice unless you ask for it.
Two examples follow:
A heterosexual drug addict told me that he had been paid to engage in homosexual sex—which he found disgusting. I think it was beneficial for him to confess his sin to me. He knew me and had confidence that I would not be judgemental. And he knew that, as a professional counselor, I would not disclose his secret to others.
I found myself repeatedly coming under spiritual attacks as a result of several issues in my past involving wrongdoing. After discussing these issues with my sister, Satan was no longer able to torment me with them.
Support groups, for a variety of issues, are available at many churches. And these are also recommended.
Eighth: "He who trusts in his own heart is a fool, But he who walks wisely will be delivered." {Proverbs 28:26 NASB}
"Trust in Him at all times . . . " {Psalm 62:8 NASB}
Don't give in to fear and do something stupid!
One man confessed to a woman at church that he was experiencing lust for her. He made both himself—and her—feel unnecessarily very uncomfortable.
Ninth: "Treat people the same way you want them to treat you." {Luke 6:31 NASB}
I once had a situation with an elderly relative which I handled very wrong. If she were to die, it would probably have become my responsibility to manage her estate—and she had no estate plan.
While visiting this relative, I became aware of various passwords which I secretly wrote down. I wanted to have a starting point to get necessary information if her estate became my responsibility. At the time, I didn't think I was doing anything wrong.
The Holy Spirit saw things differently. Soon, my emotions really began to suffer in regard to the issue. I immediately cast this emotional burden on the Lord—and waited for guidance.
The next day things became clear: The Holy Spirit made it clear that what I had done was wrong in His sight.
To break free of the pain, I needed to call the relative, explain what I had done, and apologize—which I did.
Lesson learned.
Tenth, additional guidance:
- Put the issue in God's hands: Be willing to discuss the issue with someone or simply keep it between you and God depending on whatever direction you receive from God.
- I once came under a spiritual attack because I had failed to offer help to a neighbor who needed some help. And this created a problem in our relationship. After praying and seeking out wise counsel, it became clear what to do. I went back to the neighbor and apologized.
- One pastor, who, as a young man, had stolen from his employer, later came under a spiritual attack in regard to the issue. He broke free by paying for the merchandise stolen and contacting the person and apologizing.
- Prior to becoming a Christian, I stole several newspapers from a hotel waiting room after being pressured by another employee to 'just take it.' Later, after becoming a Christian, I came under a spiritual attack in regard to the issue. After praying about the issue, it became clear what to do: I sent a money order to the hotel to cover the cost—anonymously. Nothing more was needed.
- If you've been rude or otherwise abusive, writing a letter to apologize can go a long way. Satan can bring these issues up, in the person's mind, again and again.
- Often, simply confessing your sin to God is all that is needed. Nothing more is necessary.
- Some issues should always be kept only between you and God.
- You can create or exacerbate a problem by disclosing an issue inappropriately or by discussing it with the wrong person.
Eleventh, much of the material in this article can also be used in regard to false guilt; that is, undeserved self-condemnation.
An example of false guilt follows:
A young girl once came to me very disturbed. She finally told me what was troubling her: she was disturbed because she was having some gross thoughts. My response: "That's nothing." She was relieved and the issue never came up again.
Twelfth: Avoid problems in the first place.
I once went to a large casino and the plan was to eat at the buffet, enjoy the casino atmosphere and walk around, outdoors, and enjoy the landscaping. It was my day off. I do not gamble.
No problem so far.
However, there was a temptation I failed to resist: The casino offered a free membership card which would give me discounts whenever I went to the buffet. To get the membership, I had to affirm that I was a regular gambling customer—which I did.
As soon as I got my new casino card, my emotions suffered. Even after I confessed my sin. The whole day was ruined.
I never used the casino card. And I cancelled my membership. Lesson learned.
Thirteenth: Some simple guidelines to avoid problems with guilt:
- If God says do, do.
- If God says don't, don't.
- Everything else is between you and your conscience.
Finally: Additional recommended articles:
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