"The entrance of thy words giveth light (Psalm 119:130)."
Dealing With Offenses
""It is impossible that no offenses should come, but woe to him through whom they do come!" {Luke 17:1 NKJV}
"With his mouth the godless person destroys his neighbor, But through knowledge the righteous will be rescued." {Proverbs 11:9 NASB}
In order for you to benefit from this article, it is necessary to first get saved.
Offenses will come. This is inevitable. You don't have to be defeated by them.
Some suggestions follow.
First: forgive others, from your heart. This is always necessary. Otherwise, you've given demons an opportunity and they will torture you. {Matthew 18:21-35}
Second: trust in the power of the Holy Spirit to enable you to forgive.
Template:
- I choose to forgive him (her).
- "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." {Philippians 4:13 NASB}
Sometimes, you can't forgive in your own strength.
Praying for your enemies also helps.
Third: Your own perspective is very important. Don't take things personally. Correct negative thoughts. Comfort yourself. And, recognize that it is necessary to forgive yourself as well as other people. Otherwise, it will be very difficult, or impossible, for you to forgive.
Affirmations are recommended.
A healthy, personal perspective:
- God loves me. {Isaiah 43:4, John 16:27}
- I love me. {Mark 12:31}
- I don't care what he (she) thinks. {Ecclesiastes 7:21-22}
- I don't expect myself to be perfect.
- I forgive myself.
Correct self-critical and other negative thoughts:
- I am not (fill in blank).
- Or, say the opposite.
Comforting yourself:
- It's no big deal.
- It's OK.
- It's OK if he's angry at me.
Practice using affirmations and always correct negative thoughts.
Fourth: Along the same lines as the above: If someone makes it clear that they believe something negative about you, it will be very difficult or impossible for you to forgive them unless you choose to, from your heart, disbelieve their perspective. This is something you can do.
Again, you are defined by what God says about you and by what you choose to believe about yourself.
Fifth: Don't give in to fear. Fear gives power to the devil.
Reciting Scripture will help: "For the Word of God is living and active . . ." {Hebrews 4:12 NASB}
Examples:
"Be anxious for nothing . . ." {Philippians 4:6 NASB}
"Trust in Him at all times . . ." {Psalm 62:8 NASB}
You can forgive and break free. No matter what somebody said or did. Even if they won't apologize.
But you do have to trust God & obey God.
"Those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion, which cannot be shaken but endures forever." {Psalm 125:1 NIV}
Sixth: don't dwell on offenses.
More Scriptures & partial Scriptures to recite:
"Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." {John 14:27 NIV}
"Do not let your hearts be troubled . . ." {John 14:27 NIV}
". . . whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right . . . think about these things." {Philippians 4:8 NASB}
Recite Scripture out loud. Reciting two Scriptures is especially effective.
Seventh: Affirmations, based on Scripture, will also help you to forgive and not dwell on negatives.
Examples:
- I have the mind of Christ. {1 Corinthians 2:16}
- I am strong in the Lord. {Ephesians 6:10}
Say the affirmation, out loud, to yourself.
Believe what you are saying.
Eighth: Cast your burden on the Lord. This is especially important when dealing with offenses.
Scriptures follow.
"Cast your burden upon the Lord and He will sustain you;
He will never allow the righteous to be shaken." {Psalm 55:22 NASB}
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths." {Proverbs 3:5-8 NKJV}
"For from days of old they have not heard or perceived by ear,
Nor has the eye seen a God besides You,
Who acts in behalf of the one who waits for Him.
You meet him who rejoices in doing righteousness,
Who remembers You in Your ways." {Isaiah 64:4-5 NASB}
Casting your burden on the Lord:
- Cast your burden on the Lord.
- Trust & obey.
- Be willing to do whatever God says to do or not do.
- Wait until God's will becomes clear.
- Don't dwell on the issue.
Bring the issue to God, humble yourself before Him, and listen.
Humility, before God, should not be overlooked. This is an important part of 'casting your burden on the Lord.' Otherwise, God may not agree to carry your burden.
"Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up." {James 4:10 NIV}
Tell God you need His help. Then wait for guidance.
God's voice always comes in the context of relative peace—and is never condemning.
If you don't hear anything, there is nothing to be done—at least not at this time. God will make things clear—in time.
Don't expect to hear an audible voice; instead be receptive to impressions from the Holy Spirit.
Recognize that you have a responsibility, while you're waiting, to walk wisely and not give in to fear.
He who trusts in his own heart is a fool, But whoever walks wisely will be delivered." {Proverbs 28:26 NKJV}
"For we live by faith, not by sight." {2 Corinthians 5:7 NIV}
An important thing to remember that will help you to not dwell on negatives is that you've put the issue in God's hands—and you will do whatever God says to do or not do—whenever He makes this clear.
God may tell you to do something different at the last moment.
So, since you're waiting for God's decision, it's pointless to keep trying to figure things out for yourself.
It also helps to remind yourself that it is now God's problem—not yours.
Dwelling on a problem, unnecessarily, amounts to taking the burden back. This will always be emotionally damaging.
Ninth: “Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity (Ephesians 4:26-27 NASB)."
Forgive before you go to bed. After that, you've given the devil an opportunity or foothold. Once the devil gets a foothold, it's much more difficult to forgive and break free.
I remember the first time I successfully did this with, what I thought at the time was, a major issue. I was shocked how easy it was to forgive.
Forgive as quickly as you can and use the material provided.
Remember: forgive before you go to sleep.
Tenth: Give people the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes, what others say can be interpreted several ways. Assuming the best makes it much easier to forgive.
Eleventh: Assertiveness is also important.
"Peace I leave with you; My [own] peace I now give and bequeath to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. [Stop allowing yourselves to be agitated and disturbed; and do not permit yourselves to be fearful and intimidated and cowardly and unsettled.]" {John 14:27 AMPC}
Two steps are required. These are used when challenges come up:
- Trust God.
- Act like you trust God.
Practice doing this. This gets easier with practice.
Of course, do walk wisely. Sometimes you simply need to let things go and forgive the person. However, this is the exception—not the rule.
Twelfth: Resolve to develop a backbone. People will sometimes say negative things about you. Resolve to not allow yourself to be unduly impacted. This is something you can learn to do.
Finally: More information is available on this website. The following articles are especially recommended:
- How to Forgive.
- Don't Take Things Personally.
- When Satan Gets a Foothold.
- Anger Management.
- How to Cast a Burden.
- Getting Rid of Anger.
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