"The entrance of thy words giveth light (Psalm 119:130)."
Sexual Abuse
This article discusses sexual abuse and related issues.
In order to benefit from this article, it is necessary to first get saved.
First, sexual abuse survivors.
Feelings of sexual pleasure, during a sexual assault, cannot be avoided. Bodily sensations are not under our control. Self-condemnation, for this reason, is unreasonable. It should be viewed as a spiritual attack, and resisted, as such.
Sexual abuse is never your fault.
If you've been abused, it's helpful to talk about it with someone you can trust. This can be a friend, family member or counselor. It can also be at a support group. Many churches have support groups that can help. Online support groups are also available.
As with any abuse issue, demons will tailor their spiritual attacks to where they perceive you are the most vulnerable.
In order to break free of the pain, it is necessary for victims of sexual abuse to forgive those who have wronged them and use Scripture to successfully counter spiritual attacks.
Refer to the following articles:
Additional links are provided at the end of the article.
Sexual abuse, in and of itself, does not cause anxiety or depression. These occur when the person's reaction to the abuse involves feelings of shame, humiliation, guilt, fear and/or resentment. In other words, when the abuse results in a spiritual foothold.
I remember one client who was repeatedly touched inappropriately, as a child, by her older brother. This did result in her becoming promiscuous at an early age. But it did not result in her experiencing damaging emotions. Her reaction: something like: "That's just kid stuff." Her brother was bothered a lot more than she was—even into adulthood.
Second, sexual abuse perpetrators and for those tempted to commit a sexual offense.
First, this is not a mental illness that requires treatment by a mental health professional. It is a temptation that is 'common to man.'
"No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it." {1 Corinthians 10:13 NKJV}
"The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?" {Jeremiah 17:9 KJV}
When I worked at a social service agency, just about every woman I talked to had experienced some type of sexual abuse. This is much more common than most people realize.
If you're unsaved, you are fighting a losing battle. First, get saved. This is your first, and most important, step.
Once you're saved, you need to stop viewing pornography and do your best to avoid masturbation. These give power to the devil. Refer to my article entitled Masturbation & Pornography. Another link is below.
Especially, if you entertain sexual fantasies which are way out of bounds, you are giving a lot of power to the devil. And the reality is that these sins can result in you committing a sexual assault.
There is a jumping-off point that results from repetitive aberrant sexual fantasies. These result in a spiritual foothold that results in demonic pressure to commit a sexual offense in real life.
The use of some illegal drugs can also lead to your committing a sexual assault when, otherwise, you would not do so. I also worked in a jail ministry—and learned a lot there as well.
Guilt is another issue that may need to be addressed.
If you're feeling guilty about masturbation, pornography, some sexual sin or some perverse sexual fantasy—and can't break free of the guilt on your own—talk to someone about the issue. This can be a friend, family member or counselor. Of course, select such a person carefully.
"Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed." {James 5:16 NASB}
One caution follows.
Licensed counselors have mandatory reporting requirements if you've sexually abused someone or willfully viewed child pornography. Pastors also have reporting requirements, though these differ. Consult an attorney, in advance, if this is a concern for you. You can also ask such a person, in advance, about reporting requirements that may apply. You can also research the issue online for rules that apply in your jurisdiction.
Many churches have support groups that deal with issues regarding sexual abuse, pornography and masturbation. And online support groups are also available.
Third: Sexual transgressions and/or fantasies—which are way out of bounds—will create problems for you, one way or another, sooner or later. This is inevitable. For a variety of likely or certain reasons:
- Guilt.
- Shame.
- Anxiety (Proverbs 23:7, 28:1, Isaiah 48:22).
- Spiritual impediment (Psalm 66:18).
- Problems in your marriage.
- Sometimes, other people will pick up on this.
This last item should not be overlooked.
Example: Sometime back, a woman I worked with, introduced me to her father, who had showed up at our place of employment. I shook hands with him, politely, and immediately thought to myself "low-life." Later on, after I got to know this woman better, I found out that he had spent time in prison for sexually abusing both her and her sister.
Instructive Scriptures follow.
"Above everything else, guard your heart. Everything you do comes from it." {Proverbs 4:23 NIRV}
"If I regard wickedness in my heart, The Lord will not hear . . ." {Psalm 66:18 NASB}
"The perverse of heart shall be far from me; I will have nothing to do with what is evil." {Psalm 101:4 NIV}
"A man will be commended according to his wisdom, But he who is of a perverse heart will be despised." {Proverbs 12:8 NKJV}
"For as he thinks in his heart, so is he." {Proverbs 23:7 NKJV}
"Thorns and snares are in the way of the perverse; He who guards himself will be far from them." {Proverbs 22:5 NASB}
"He who walks with integrity walks securely, But he who perverts his ways will become known." {Proverbs 10.9 NKJV}
"Let my heart be blameless regarding Your statutes, That I may not be ashamed." {Psalm 119:80 NKJV}
"And you may be sure that your sin will be discovered. It will be brought out into the open." {Numbers 32:23 NIRV}
Sexual fantasies, involving wickedness, will hinder God's willingness to answer your prayers (Psalm 66:18).
Sexual fantasies, involving wickedness, can result in you committing a sexual assault. The longer you entertain such fantasies, the greater this risk becomes.
Sexual fantasies, involving wickedness, result in anxiety (Proverbs 23:7, 28:1, Isaiah 48:22).
One woman was plagued by guilt as a result of her sexual fantasies: While she was having sex with her husband, she had found it exciting to imagine that she was really having sex with her husband's brother. She, of course, had to stop doing this.
Sexual fantasies and behaviors, involving wickedness, result in a sexual high which is above and beyond what you can experience via any other sexual encounter. But these will damage or destroy your Christian life.
Finally, if you've been sexually abused, have abused someone or are struggling with any type of sexual transgression, I recommend the following:
- A Quick Start Guide.
- How to Forgive.
- Masturbation & Pornography.
- Stopping Spiritual Attacks.
- Overcoming Shame.
- Dealing With Guilt.
- Relapse Prevention. {Drug abuse}
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